No Me Ames
by angst no miko
Summary: Ruhana pairing.... dying fic.... reviews please... one-shot!!!!!!!


No Me Ames (Don't Love Me)  
by Rien  
  
Standard Disclaimer's Apply  
  
A raven haired boy sat beside the window, staring at the raindrops, writing. It was raining that night, as if the weather was experiencing the same grief as the young boy. He knew it was the last night that he could write to his red haired lover, his do'aho before... before everything fades. He sat here looking at his lover's body, sleeping peacefully as their night activities have been well... rough and hungry that the redhaired lover slept peacefully afterwards, the raven haired boy didn't though. He knew that he have little time to say everything he wanted to say. He observed his neat hand writing and smiled to himself.  
  
"This would be the last letter Hana... the last goodbye..." he said and folded the letter, placed a seal and wrote his lover's name on it. He walked towards the bed and sat down, admiring the features of his lover, carressing each cheek and memorizing his features perfectly. The raven haired boy laid quetly on the bed, kissing his lover for the last time. The red head stirred, turned to face him with sleepy eyes.   
  
"Kaede..." he murmmured and smiled as sleep claimed him again. Kaede closed his eyes and embraced his sleeping lover, aware that it was the last time that he would see him, feel him. A single tear escaped from his now closed eyelids.  
  
~*~  
  
The sun peeked through the two lovers that lay entangled with each other. A possessive arm was placed on the redhead as he slept through the night, enjoying his lover's warmth. everything was perfect except the feeling of life beside him. His eyes opened at once and looked at his raven haired lover, examining his pale features. He carresed his cheek, feeling its coldness against it. Tears began to pour from his eyes, shaking his head with disbelief.  
  
"Kaede... wake up... Kaede..." he gently shook his lover, still not believing what was happening.   
  
"Kaede...." he sobbed his name and shaking him harder, expecting the lover's punch, growling because of the disturbance of his much needed sleep. His lover still did not awaken.  
  
"Kaede.. this is not funny!!!!" he shouted, sounds echoing in the empty house where they lived.  
  
*ring ring*  
  
The phone said, shouting it's neglect. Hanamichi grabbed it, hearing Ryota's voice behind it.  
  
"Oi, Hanamichi!!!! Get your ass here and we have practice to finish!!!" he shouted. Hanamichi sobbed, quieting the captain of Shohoku.  
  
"What's the matter Sakuragi?" he said, his voice full of concern.  
  
"Kaede... he's... he's..." he sobbed and dropped the phone, not bothering to place it on it's body. Ryota can hear the muffled sobs of the self proclaimed tensai of Shohoku.  
  
"What's happening Ryota?" Ayako asked behind his back, placing the phone to it's cradle.  
  
"Rukawa..." he mumbled.  
  
~*~  
  
Hanamichi sat beside his lover's grave, caressing the epitaph where his name was engraved. He smiled to himself and sighed, remembering everything with Rukawa, those happy and sad moments. Tears treathened to fall once again.  
  
He pulled out a letter that states his name written by his lover's clean penmanship. He broke the seal and read the letter.  
  
Dear Hana,  
  
I know that this may be the last thing that would connect you to me so I'm writing it before I die. I know that I would and I thank you for believing that I would be cured but alas, my time has come. I know that I'm already weak and I knew that time is not in our hands.  
  
Hana, I know that you love me and I love you too. I never said the words out loud but I say this to you now. I'm sorry about everything that had happened and I'm sorry that it's too late for me to say this to you.  
  
I love you, I love you.... I should've said this to you a thousand times before but I didn't have the courage to say this. I know I'm a coward but please understand that I do not trust other people that easily. I don't trust my feelings as well. I don't trust myself.  
  
I remember the time when I knew of my sickness that was eating me. Why I would tire so easily and have severe headaches that would leave me breathless because of the pain I felt.   
  
I started to lock myself up in the bathroom everytime you were asleep and everytime you were away. I thought that you are going to leave when I told you about it, but I knew in my heart that I need to tell this to you. I was scared but I want you to be happy. That's why... that's why... I told you the words that you don't want to hear: "Don't love me"  
  
Your face paled and I turned around as to keep my tears from spilling. I didn't want to look your face, I ddin't want to see the sadness that crept in your honey colored eyes. I just wanted you to be happy but you embraced me and said that it's already too late and you've fallen deep in love with me and there is nothing that could change that.  
  
Do you remember that I said that I was dying and there is nothing you can do? I immediately regretted the time I told you that. I wanted to say my apologies but I knew it was for the best. I wanted to tell that it was only a joke but I knew for a fact that this fucking life is so unfair.  
  
You just smile and said that you would still love me. I smiled to you and embraced you with all my might. You cared for me and helped with everything but I still sometimes push you away. I wanted you to be happy, I wanted you not to suffer. I... I wanted you to feel the true happiness that I failed to give.  
  
Hana, do you know that your smile makes me smile as well? Do you know that I first love your smile that makes me warm everytime I see it? The smile full of naivety and sincerity that would take my breath away and make my day complete.  
  
I will miss you and I will be with you always, Hana... Until the forever's end, I would be with you to look out for you.  
  
Loving you forever,  
Kaede  
  
Tears leaked from the eyes of the redhead and clutched the letter tightly against his chest, against the beating of his heart. He murmmured the name of his lover over and over.   
  
He laid on the grass, smiling to himself and attempting to talk to his now dead lover. When he knew that he told everything that he can tell, he stood up feeling happy and walked away. Unaware to the redhead, someone was smiling behind him and whispering his love, following him as he walked in the path. He smiled as he hears them and looked at the sky where he knew that his raven haired lover would watch over him forever.  
  
~*OWARI*~  
  
Author's Notes: The title is inspired by the song of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony.ü 


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